questions on feminism

I was going to title this top questions, but, the truth is, there are really only two things people ask me when they hear I am a feminist.

1. do you hate men (or do you hate ALL men?)
2. do you shave your legs?

Basically, my feminism, my social, political and very personal and fundamental beleif is reduced to how I feel about men and how I groom myself.

My looks.
Men.

I am angered and depressed that a movement that seeks equality for women, for minorities and for all sexes, a movement that strives to make 'all things' that are deemed feminine and female to not be mocked, looked down on and ridiculed.. a movement that HAS empowered women, this is reduced to being about MEN, and my body.

How, how the ever loving fuck do I explain how offensive that is? How do I calmly refute that, no, in fact I don't hate men, that my grooming habits are MY OWN fucking business and that they have NOTHING to do with feminism?

The comments to and about feminism ALWAYS reinforce the FUCKING NEED for feminism.

Yes. I am upset. Worse? My being upset will ALSO be used against me. No matter what I say, how I say it, or who I am matter. Am I young? I don't know enough. Am I old? I must be bitter. Am I pretty? Then I am an attention seeking bitch. Am I old? Then I am bitter no man wants to fuck me, regardless of if I am straight or not. As some, we  are CONSTANTLY  reduced in worth when men don't want to fuck us. That seems to be our only value in some forums, and in some groups.

If I am angry, then they say I am irrational. I ask, how is it irrational to be angry in the face of injustice, ridicule and victim blaming?

I am told to just shut up, to wait nicely for change. To be grateful for what we women DO have. I am told on one hand that I am equal to a man, and on the other hand to be grateful for what men have allowed me to have, the rights and privileges that I have are thanks to them. Really? Yup, and they say this with no sense of irony or shame.

No one ever asks WHY I am a feminist, or what it means to me. I am TOLD by men why I am a feminist, yes, but never asked.

1. I am weak and drawn to a group that I feel (falsely) empowers me.
2. I have had some bad experiences with men (though this faction does indeed NOT represent all men) (yet one or two radical feminists DO represent ALL feminists)
3. I resent younger and more attractive women who do get male attention.

How is it possible that people don't see the hypocrisy of telling me NOT ALL MEN while at the same time declaiming feminism as ALL FEMINISTS HATE ALL MEN?

Change doesn't happen because we wait for it.

Telling me that 'I've never experienced sexism (or anything negative)' or that 'I like the way men treat me, and I like a manly man.' does not mean that I am not allowed to want something else for myself.

I would like to see open and honest dialog. I would like to see us asking if we gender is really what we thought / think it is. I would like us asking why, if the sexes are equal, are most things traditionally feminine regarded as less, are looked down on, and are reviled as weak, lower paid, and shameful.

I am really tired of being blamed for false rape claims. Why not blame us feminists for false murder charges? or the national debt? Why rape? Ask THAT question. Why is rape seen as a feminist problem? Shouldn't it be a 'problem' for ALL of us?