time passes

Time passes. Marches on. Even after a tragic event, or loss. Time for those of us left, ticks away. You might feel it stands still, yet your mortgage will still be due on the same dates, dinner is still served (and expected if you normally prepare it) at the same time. In short, while time feels different it in fact isn't. You've changed. Not the world, just you. And you won't find many concessions to your grieving.

It can feel surreal to see life go on, after losing a loved one, or going through something traumatic. How? How can we all, how can I, go on after this? But you do. Somehow you do. You might feel numb, not remember doing things, but you do. You do them, you keep going.

Mourning doesn't stop though. You are forever changed. Yet, no one seems to be able to see it. They think that because you are going through the motions, you are okay. And they want you to be okay. No one wants to keep dealing with your grief, least of all you. You want it to be over, and you fear it ending, as it feels like the last you have of your loved one. If it was a traumatic event, you want to be over it, yet, you can't go back to who you were before, and you are angry that you end up left as you are.

you don't want to be changed, to forever see the world differently. You don't want that. You want things to go back to how they were before.

But they can't and you are changed.